Archive for the ‘Getting to Know Me’ Category


Who’s calling me dense?

January 10, 2012

I disliked going to the doctor when I was a kid. At the time, I thought it was frightening and threw a tantrum a time or two when I got a shot. I never worried that I might have a serious illness (thankfully I didn’t). What I didn’t understand  then was that I would like it even less once I became an adult.

Now the only time I like to go to the doctor is when I have some bug that’s gone viral – okay, bacterial. Of course I have to make sure I have been sick enough for enough days so that the doc will indeed give me some antibiotics. A few days later I feel much better and that’s the end of that.

As an adult, with some years of life experience, it’s the preventive doctor visits I dislike. I go in feeling fine, believing all is well … and then I get some call saying, oh you need to come back in for a re-check.

Mammograms are a great example. Fortunately for them, men do not get to endure this crushing pain. Literally. Crushing. Pain. Open refrigerator door – insert appendage – close and push with all your weight. And by the way, hold your breath and don’t move the entire time. What a refreshing way to conduct an examination.

Inevitably they call me back. As if one crushing experience wasn’t enough fun, they need to repeat it, along with a couple extra images this time. A doctor or tech told me once my boobs are “dense.” Maybe they were calling my boobs dumb, but I took it to be good news as a contributing factor to this extreme stress they cause me year after year with the call backs.

The eye doctor is of course the exception. I’ve needed glasses since 5th grade so I really don’t have to worry much there. The glaucoma check might ring a teeny, tiny alarm in the back of my head just in case that might come up positive. But except for the nearsightedness, now a bit complicated by presbyopia, my eyes are good. (If you are too young to know what presbyopia is, you probably still think going to the doctor is no big deal.)

Dr. Dentist, sorry but you were never and still are not my friend. That one bad experience with some whack job when I was six or so, followed by my parents scolding me for crying because you caused me severe pain, coupled with lots of fillings and crowns, leaves me with nothing but dread. It is only my shred of hope that the regular semi-annual exams will prevent further problems that bring me to your chair twice a year. Just know that if you make one wrong move, I’m outta there!



May 16, 2009

I’m a bit of a nerd…not smart enough to be a geek-nerd; just sort of weird. Ask anyone who knows me. They’ll tell you. And they luv me anyway (I think!). I luv me, too!

As a kid my favorite thing to do in the summer was to play school. See, told you? A nerd!

Thankfully the neighborhood kids and my younger sister and brother went along with me. We often set up the classroom in Lisa Poe’s garage back in southern Indiana and I was always the teacher.

So it made sense that for as long as I could remember I planned to be a teacher when I grew up. Funny how dreams and plans change.

I never became a teacher, although even today I toy with the idea. If the state I live in didn’t keep laying them off left and right, I would do it! It really is what I should have done all those years ago.

Plus it pairs nicely with my other dream–writing! My career has always included writing but I mean the book-writing-and-selling type writer. That one I’m still working on.

So what’s your dream and what are you doing to pursue it? My absolutely, positively dream job(s) would be a writer on the Ellen show or a writer with Cirque du Soleil.

I don’t really see myself moving to Paris…but haven’t ruled out Europe so who knows. But L.A. doesn’t seem so outrageous!


I hereby resign…

January 10, 2009

Daily Thought from
December 29, 2008

 For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe. 

— Anonymous

This quote hit my Inbox just in time for New Year’s resolutions. I hadn’t thought about “peace of mind” as a resolution, but I sure do think of myself as “general manager of the universe.”


Not really in conscious terms but reading that quote forced me to admit I try to manage my universe—and of course that includes my circle of family and friends. I have no doubt they will tell you in a heartbeat that I like to micromanage.


Here’s the thing. It doesn’t work. The universe doesn’t want me managing it, and doesn’t respond really well to management. I am not in control and shouldn’t be.


I know and have experienced that when I am open to the universe to send the things I want and need my way, it answers. It sends them and my universe flows easily. Why do I forget that sometimes and try to push it?


It’s that Type A-Virgo-oldest child in me, I believe. This week a coworker told me I’m “a lady who gets things done” and I took that as a compliment. Given the laws of physics that means there is an equal reaction for that action of getting things done: it is that I push and I drive and I sometimes force.


So in 2009 I want to continue to be a lady who gets things done, when the universe sends them to me. Along the way, I wait and remain open to my universe. I hereby resign as…general manager.


Thanks, Garth Stein

September 21, 2008

Minutes ago I finished reading “The Art of Racing in the Rain,” which when I started, I expected to be another “Marley and Me.” In that it is about a dog’s love for its people and its peoples’ love of the dog, the two books are alike. But there is a sad undertone throughout “Racing in the Rain,” that I never felt in “Marley.”

Here’s why: from the beginning we know that Enzo (the pooch!) is recalling his life story on the eve of his death. That fact struck like an arrow in my heart because only a month ago I had to put my dog to sleep. A first for me even though I’ve been around for a few decades.

I’ve had other dogs die, but never before did I have to decide. This time I had to look my poor, sick, trusting Nikki in the eyes and tell her good-bye. Others have walked that walk and know how brutally hard it is. It was the right decision because she was a senior dog with a serious illness, but no less gut-wrenching.

Enzo’s tale helped me believe that if Nikki could have talked, she would have told me it was okay. She would have said that she was ready to stop hurting and to not be sick. She might have told me she loved me, our family, and would miss us, but she needed to rest peacefully.

For any dog lovers, the book is worth reading. For those who just like to read, I recommend it, too. It’s a life story, with the ups and downs and peaks and valleys of real life, yet it ends with hope. Something I always appreciate in my pleasure reading.

Especially for me, I am thankful for a newfound peace of mind from the book. My sense of guilt in making the decision to end Nikki’s struggle eased and I believe like Enzo, she will return to life in human form and I’ll bump into her someday.


Hello world!

April 16, 2008

Welcome to Cerebral Spice at I love words! The sound, the feel, the images they create! So I’m happy to be part of WordPress. And I can be cerebral, which I think is really an academic way of saying I “overanalyze.” It just means my brain functions in high gear most of the time, quite often spinning in a direction away from the mainstream. It took me a long time to realize that was okay…in fact that’s a good thing. It means I am creative and when I ask the questions nobody else wants to hear, it often means we get a better answer! Sit back and enjoy the view inside this li’l bit crazy head o’mine!