A recent New York Times article talked about starting our days online. I admit, I hit the computer within the first hour of being awake. Quick read of new e-mails, doing my online devotions, checking weather, clicking www.thebreastcancersite.com and all its tabs, and making sure the online banking is all in order. Pretty much routine for all of us today.

What struck me in the article was the dad who said he uses text messaging to wake up his kids so he doesn’t have to go upstairs to wake them? Huh????

Dad, you are missing out on some special moments with your kids. A text message versus a warm touch and smile from dad…what do you think creates the most special memories for your children?

My daughter is grown now but I made it a rule to be with her every morning unless I was traveling. I went to her room until she decided she didn’t need me doing that anymore (enter her own alarm clock), but we still had breakfast together. While she was in college, I e-mailed her each morning just to start her day with a hi from home.

Sure, cell phones are the new alarm clocks and there is nothing wrong with teaching a child the responsibility of setting and using an alarm. Texting a good morning message to your child if you are on the road or they are away at college is a great use of the available technology.

But using it to replace a few minutes of your time with your child sends a wrong message in my opinion.

“My child, you are not important enough for me to take time to walk up the stairs to be with you as you start your day.”

I never got any thanks from my daughter for the college morning e-mails or the breakfasts with mom. But I’m pretty sure when I’m gone, or heaven forbid, old and senile, she will remember those times and know that she was loved deeply.

Besides money, what is really the difference between “Octo-Mom” and Angelina Jolie? There’s a rumor that Jolie is pregnant for the 7th time, on top of all the adopted children.

Call me crazy, but I don’t see how either one of those women can really mother that many children. But since Jolie has money and presumably staff, i.e., hired mommies, nobody questions her sanity.

I’m not suggesting either Octo-Mom or Jolie are sane, but I think it’s unfair and a mistake that nobody investigates Jolie as mother.

Kooper--ready for some foooootball!! Jan 31, 2009

Kooper has really cut into my writing time over the past month. Who is Kooper, you ask? New boyfriend? New boss? Baby?

Kooper is our new puppy. Since it’s been 13 years since we Nikki, our late Bichon, was a pup, I had completely forgotten just how much like infants/toddlers they are. And my husband and I just started dating when I got Nikki so he wasn’t involved much in the training of her so this is a real “trip” for him!

Like children, puppies are wonderful for the soul…despite the sleepless nights. The same characteristic I love in children, I am enjoying with Koops. Seeing the world through young eyes means everything around is a new adventure. A leaf blowing across the lawn, a hawk soaring overhead, balloons, bands playing at a local block party, a motorcycle roaring up the street, every person we see—all of it!

Watching the world in motion is a pastime of mine as a writer, but Kooper has given me a fresh lens with which to observe. And his spirit changes the way I engage with the world around me. More than just watching, we explore. It takes me back to my childhood and the fun of discovering new things and places.

Most of what Kooper and I are discovering aren’t really new to me, but they feel new when I see his reactions. Each day he gets a little braver and approaches each new thing a bit more eagerly. But often at not quite four months old, he is still a clumsy, cautious and adorable pup.

My Christmas Day draws to a close as I write this. I had a great Christmas and I hope you did, too.

This is definitely a year when the wrapped gifts did not make Christmas. My husband and I stopped exchanging gifts a few years ago, partly because of finances then. Now instead of gifts we do things together, put our money toward creating shared memories. We are blessed because our needs and our wants are met.

So this year we enjoyed a quiet day together with plenty of good food. We shared part of the day with a new friend, who is going through a rough time. Together we all saw Marley & Me (which by the way is not a family movie…if your children are under 17, no need for them to see it. Great movie, but it’s for adults!) Then we enjoyed dinner and lively conversation at our house.

As this day ends, I remind myself that as a Christian, Christmas begins today and ends Jan. 6, the day of the Epiphany. I’ll keep up my holiday lights and decorations and continue to enjoy holiday music. And I hope this year, I hang onto the Christmas spirit all year long.

There are two things a girl–and by girl I mean any adult woman, any age–should always splurge on. Professional hair color and designer perfume.

Stacey and Clinton of “What Not to Wear” fame won’t agree with me but I don’t think the expense of designer clothes is always necessary. But for a few classic pieces, women’s fashion changes too often so don’t spend the money on something that lasts only a season.

But designer perfume, in the scent that complements you, is a timeless investment. Each one smells different on each woman depending on our body chemistry. Here are some of my favorites:

• Black by Kenneth Cole–classy, elegant
• Be Delicious by DKNY–perfect for spring/summer
• Red Delicious by DKNY–heavier than the above so great for fall/winter
• Tresor by Lancome–another elegant scent, more floral than Black

Guys, you can’t go wrong buying your lady designer perfume. Get a gift receipt just in case the fragrance doesn’t mix well with her personal chemistry. Then…pay attention to what she gets so you can replace it when it’s gone or work with the sales counter rep to select something like it.

Don’t want to do that? Buy a gift certificate to her hair salon. Or one your female coworkers recommend if she doesn’t yet have a favorite salon. Professional hair services, either color or highlights make a difference. They tell us we can duplicate the look at home on our own, but we can’t. And it’s a pain. Make her life easier. Give her the gift of self-indulgence.

Check out the Green Office Web site for school supply packages with green products customized by grade. I know every school and every teacher seems to have their own special supply lists, but these packages have the basics your student needs. There’s even a teacher kit. I’m not a teacher (yet) but I want to get that one since a I am a writer and writers need paper, pens, etc. I might as well reduce my carbon footprint since I’m buying them and using them anyway. For $49.99 I get:

Green Teacher Kit
This kit contains eco-friendly and non-toxic school supplies including:

• 1 – Envirotech™ 100% Recycled Wirebound Notebook
• 1 – Aurora Products Elements Eco-Friendly Round Ring Binder, 2″ Capacity, White
• 1 – Aurora Products Elements Eco-Friendly Round Ring Binder, 3″ Capacity, White
• 1 – Economy Tab Dividers, Buff, 5-Tab Set, 36 Sets/Box
• 1 – Fluff Out® Recycled White Facial Tissue in Six-Pack, 100/Box, 6 Boxes/Pack
• 1 – Earth Write® Pencil (12-pack)
• 1 – Jimnie® Clip Retractable Ballpoint Pens, 1.0mm, Clear Barrel, Red Ink
• 1 – LH-Refills for Jimnie® Ballpoint Pens, Medium Point, Red, 3/Pack
• 1 – EXPO® Chisel Tip Markers with Eraser and Grip, 12-Color Set, Chisel Tip

The K-2nd grade kit is $16.99, grades 3-5 is $24.99 and grades 6-12 is $29.99. We all probably spend close to that anyway for all those chemical-filled products. Less chemicals are better for each of us as people, young and old, and better for the environment.

You can shop on the site for individual products, too, if the packages don’t interest you. And look for other household products, office supplies and even furniture while you’re there. www.thegreenoffice.com

My daughter is 25 now, so it’s been a long while since I worried about daycare. I remember that stress: choosing quality daycare I could afford where I thought she would learn and grow mentally and socially. I needed to be sure the environment stimulated her developing brain and let her have fun. I entrusted her to “strangers” for an hourly pittance and expected they would care for her nearly as much as I did.

Of course I wanted a safe place for her as well. In my mind, safe mostly meant from abuse, sexual or otherwise. I have to admit that fire safety in her daycare never crossed my mind. Not once.

I did not ask – ever – if they:

• tested their smoke alarms?
• regularly changed batteries in the smoke alarm?
• had regular fire drills?
• had fire extinguishers and knew how to use them?
• had a system to account for everyone?
• promised they could get my Sarah out in an emergency?

I am probably not much different from most other parents. Today in Tallahassee, Florida, a family is mourning the death of their 4-year-old because of a fire at her daycare yesterday.

I believe as a mom I can imagine their anguish. I think about an E.R. doctor telling me, “I’m sorry, your baby is gone,” and my stomach clenches, my throat goes dry. My knees weaken and I know I would collapse if this was happening in my real world.

I am so very sorry for this family. The daycare’s staff surely is ill with guilt and grief…something you probably never really get over.

For other parents out there, ask those questions. And make sure your home environment is safe, too. Check your smoke detectors, practice your escape plan, teach your children, “Stop, Drop and Roll.” This Web site has good info for all stages of life: http://www.firesafety.gov/

This week’s Newsweek has a good article about divorce, and specifically a group of now 40-something adults whose parents were among the first to make divorce socially acceptable. My parents beat theirs to the punch and split up in 1974. I was almost 14 and I was crushed. Nobody else I knew had divorced parents and barely knew what that word meant! I was lonely and embarrassed, plus my mom, siblings and I wound up back in North Dakota instead of staying Indiana where I had grown up and had friends. It was brutal. Sadly, I turned around and did it to my daughter. Not the moving, but the divorce. I do believe both divorces were best for everyone involved, but that isn’t a magic potion you can rub on the scars to make them fade. Some 30 years later, I still have scars. They don’t irritate as much, but they are there. Anyone else know what I’m talkin’ about?